★ ( ALLSTARZ: JONAS / GABRIEL. )

[siffrin]

when god is just a normal guy and friend in your eyes

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[siffrin]

[ Siffrin doesn't meet his gaze. Perhaps because of shame? Guilt? Knowing once it's apparent, obvious what happened, it'll be obvious how horrible Siffrin is. Terrible. ]

...I wanted to stay with them forever. [ Their friends- their family. ] Being with them... is the happiest I can remember being. I didn't want our journey to end.

[sixam]

[ he's just... trying to think this through, mostly. ]

... even if that part of the journey was over, that didn't have to be goodbye, did it? Wasn't there a way to stay together after you saved the country?

[siffrin]

..At the time, it felt like only I wanted it to stay that way. Everyone, each one of them, they all have a home to go back to.

[ (And you don't.) ] It just.. seemed like the most logical thing was that we would save the country and then go our separate ways.

[sixam]

But you didn't want to ask at the time either? [ he can understand that. sometimes asking a person to stay is harder than anything else. ]

[siffrin]

..No. I was.. too afraid to ask.

[ Because what if they were the only one that felt that way? What if they were the only one that the journey meant more than anything to? It is hard to ask someone to stay. ]

[sixam]

So what made you change your mind in the end?

[siffrin]

[ What made them change... Their gaze looks over to the library, where Mirabelle sits in front on a bench, anxiously pouring over her papers. ]

...They asked me what I wished for.

[sixam]

So you waited for them instead. [ he supposes that tracks. ] And you were able to be honest then? Knowing they wanted to know.

[siffrin]

More like... they figured out something was wrong. [ Between... Loop. They fiddle with something in their hand. And Odile's - Isabeau's strong perception. ]

..I couldn't hurt them. And admitting it was.. terrifying. But, eventually, yes. I was able to be.

[sixam]

... I'm glad it worked out then, in the end. Sometimes you have to do the scary things to get to the good parts anyway, even if it's hard.

[ but he shakes his head. ]

Come on. Let's keep looking around and see if it's all as you remember.

[ and we can probably wrap this bc it's w1 monday! ]