[ Just a completely normal memshare, in which as soon as they draw close - they're flung into a memory that starts to play. ( CW: CONSTANT DEATHS, MY BLORBO MENTALLY ILL, BIG SPOILERS FOR ISAT)
As the memory comes to an end, Siffrin is.. having a moment. They're fine. They look fine? With a hand against their chest, trying to take deep breaths in, and out. Shaking, gripping tightly at their arms and rubbing at them as if to try and remind themselves where they are. It's fine! ]
[ okay. well. there is a lot to unpack here, but when the memory fades he just kind of pauses to sort through his own feelings on the matter before he turns his gaze back to siffrin. ]
Siff. It's gone. [ just in case that wasn't clear. ] Whatever that was.
..Sadnesses. The.. monsters back home, that's what we call them. They are physical manifestations of intense negative emotions.
[ Looking back, Siffrin can tell that was a Sadness manifested from their own emotions. Even if at the time they couldn't come to that conclusion. Hard to shake off that feeling of it all, that suffocating homesickness. Fear. ]
..I'm fine. I'm not there anymore. Everything is.. fine.
I would think so if you're here. You got past it. [ everything's over as far as he knows. ]
You just have to keep telling yourself that. It's going to be harder some days than others, but you have them to remind you it's not true. Think about it that way.
[ There's a small nod at that, to show they're still listening, and they know he's right. Once back, they'll be sure to remind them, to prove whatever thoughts they have that might think otherwise.
It's harder to think that now though. Not having their family here with them. A deep breath in, and out. ] ..Thanks, Gabe.
[ Blinks a bit, it's enough to shake them from their stupor which is fine by them (swallow everything down, forget it) and it's probably obvious that they're curious by it - but given how Vaugarde is and everything else - ]
I can do that, Jonas. [ No direct questions. Though, their head tilts seeming to think... ] "Jojo" is the first kind of nickname I can think of.
[ Wait. ] Ah, unless you don't want a nickname either.
Yup. It's who I was for seventeen years... but even the Angels called me Jonas when we were alone. It was just easier to blend in and have a different identity when you were all there to start with.
[ Can see the train of thought there. As for that question.. they give a helpless shrug. ]
I don't really remember why I chose it. [ Thinks of Elysia's words, I'll remember you as you are, "Siffrin." ] ..But it has meaning to it now so, that's all that matters.
Exactly. It was easier when it was about getting to know you guys, but... harder, later, when I had to tell the truth.
[ and that's his own doing. but he's more interested in what siffrin says instead. ]
It's probably been long enough now that the reason doesn't matter. But it's a name that suits you and a name you chose. I think you're right about that. That's all that matters.
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WEEK 3, MONDAY
As the memory comes to an end, Siffrin is.. having a moment. They're fine. They look fine? With a hand against their chest, trying to take deep breaths in, and out. Shaking, gripping tightly at their arms and rubbing at them as if to try and remind themselves where they are. It's fine! ]
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Siff. It's gone. [ just in case that wasn't clear. ] Whatever that was.
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[ Looking back, Siffrin can tell that was a Sadness manifested from their own emotions. Even if at the time they couldn't come to that conclusion. Hard to shake off that feeling of it all, that suffocating homesickness. Fear. ]
..I'm fine. I'm not there anymore. Everything is.. fine.
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[ (But it was still the same day, the day hadn't changed yet, how do you know for sure?) ]
..Of course I know. It isn't. They wouldn't.. they don't really think that way.
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You just have to keep telling yourself that. It's going to be harder some days than others, but you have them to remind you it's not true. Think about it that way.
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It's harder to think that now though. Not having their family here with them. A deep breath in, and out. ] ..Thanks, Gabe.
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Hey, um. I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Can we... maybe go back to just using Jonas? Even between us.
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I can do that, Jonas. [ No direct questions. Though, their head tilts seeming to think... ] "Jojo" is the first kind of nickname I can think of.
[ Wait. ] Ah, unless you don't want a nickname either.
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I think I'm gonna have to pass on the nickname, yeah. May as well use the name that's been out of practice for a while, right?
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It is who you are. One from home, right?
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..I think that makes sense. Choosing something to blend in. It's how I ended up with "Siffrin."
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Does Siffrin mean something?
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[ Can see the train of thought there. As for that question.. they give a helpless shrug. ]
I don't really remember why I chose it. [ Thinks of Elysia's words, I'll remember you as you are, "Siffrin." ] ..But it has meaning to it now so, that's all that matters.
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[ and that's his own doing. but he's more interested in what siffrin says instead. ]
It's probably been long enough now that the reason doesn't matter. But it's a name that suits you and a name you chose. I think you're right about that. That's all that matters.